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Ruv Draba's avatar

I went diving in Vanuatu once, but arrived without a valid passport. I had reported it missing, but then recovered it and forgot to notify them. Australian Customs let me out of Australia but the passport was deemed cancelled, and they confiscated it on exit. "Don't worry about it", they cheerfully told my newly-stateless self as the boarding chimes sounded.

I worried about it for the whole flight anyway, but needn't have.

The way baggage works at Vila airport is the handlers toss it out of the hold as fast as they can, making each piece spin expressively before thumping onto muggy tarmac. You grab your own before heading into the terminal. I did so, peered into the scuffed baggage at my glass dive-mask, which seemed to have enjoyed the experience, and wandered in to Customs.

"Passport?"

"I don't have one."

"You're from Australia?"

"Yeah", shuffling my feet.

"Business here?"

"Diving." Or, y'know. Stateless international slave-trade victim. I'm easy.

"Okay. Go through and visit the Consulate before you leave."

The Australian Consul wore a camel-coloured, sweat-stained safari-suit, and looked and smelled like he had just decanted his lunch. I couldn't see his pith-helmet, but perhaps it was being used as a dog-bowl. After hearing my story, blinking glassily and mopping his forehead, he took out an impressive tortoiseshell fountain-pen, wrote on what looked like a piece of torn blotting-paper and stamped it with a red Australian coat of arms. In the humidity the ink had already blurred and I couldn't read his hand-writing, but imagined it said, "This drongo doesn't have a passport, but he's one of ours. Let him back in, orright? Beaut, thanks. Mal from Vila."

For the duration of my stay I guarded that blotting-paper with my life, but I'm not sure that the writing mattered anyway. The stamp got me back into Australia. All pre-9/11 of course. Good times.

Anyway, a foreign flag from Vanuatu? No worries, sport.

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Ken Fickett's avatar

Couple of things, first, as an American boat builder I am cheering tariffs on foreign built boats since they compete with our boats, second, I'm calling BS on the quote attributed to Jim Leishman that boats would be too expensive if they were built in the US. There are plenty of large yachts built and sold in the US every year, just not Nordhavens...

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